Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Brownie Conversation

Today I decided to bake my famous homemade Hershey Brownies. I sent out a mass text to all my cousins in the area. The first responder was J'von. He's my 16 year old cousin who is skinny as I don't know what but eats everything in his path. This was our conversation.

Mass Text: Making brownies!!!

J'von: On my way!!!

Me: The ingredients aren't mixed together yet. But you could go buy me some sticks of butter and I'll make some blondes too.

J'von: All of a sudden I'm not hungry anymore.

Me: Blah! I'm sticking with the brownies.

J'von: That's what I thought (:

Me: Don't make me merk you.

J'von: Merk? Is that the new lingo these days?

Me: Lil Wayne used to say merk. Short for murder. Lol! Dang. That sounds bad. Ok ok. Don't make me bear hug you.

J'von: Naw naw naw. Bear hugs are Marie's move.

Me: Pinch yo but! Ha!

J'von: Can't reach :O

Me: Pssssssh chiiii! Yeah I can.

J'von: I can't even see ma butt! Get it right.

Me: Lol! Dummy.

J'von: I know what you are but what am I?

Me: Unicorns and glitter.

J'von: KRISSY!!!!

Me: What?!

J'vaon: Call 1-800-LAW-YERS! BLAAAH.

Little back story: 1-800-LAW-YERS is an annoying day time commercial that plays all the time. On Thanksgiving I had the jingle stuck in my head and I kept singing it to everybody. A few hours later my nut of a cousin J'von made a game out of it. The rule was: if someone called your name and you responded with "What?" you got 1-800-LAW-YERS shouted in your face. So here it is four weeks after Thanksgiving and this guy gets me when my guard is down. 

Me: I don't like you.

J'von: Just mad cause I got cha!!!

Me: Sho is, Foo'.

J'von: I'm da man.

Me: In the words of Marie, pssssh chiiii!
Marie is his 11 year old sister I always blog about.

J'von: Wow!

J'von: So...You make deliveries?

Me: Hell no.

Me: $5 delivery fee.

J'von: Well then. What kind of service is this!

J'von: Family discount?

Me: Who said this was a service? I supply the goods. You drive to get it. Done.

J'von: That wasn't in the contract.

Me: J'von.

J'von: Krissy :D

Me: Call 1-800-LAW-YERS! Berrrrrm! Nah! :)

J'von: I didn't say "What?"

Me: The rules have changed, my friend.

J'von: No!!!

Mass text (with picture included): I present to you...but its hot. So its technically not ready so. Um. Yeah.

J'von: :(

Me: Whaaaat? Come and get it, Narrow.
That's what I call him

J'von: Yeah. No car!!!

Me: Your mom is picking some up after work.

J'von: That's at midnight.

Me: Well dang.

J'von: Yup. Lemmie borrow $2,000.

Me: Negro, please! I wish I did have that much to give.
What's wrong with these kids these days?

J'von: Darn.

Me: I have a Ziplock bag with three brownies for you and your parents

J'von: Okay. Niiiiice!!!

I see I'mma have to bake more often.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Blessing in Disguise

It starts as a search. Then in an instant, a photo reaches out to you as if grabbing you by your shirt collar to reel you in. And just like that, an attraction starts. The attraction runs so deep that you can barley stay afloat. You spend minutes trying to come up with the right words to say but you come up short. You recalculate your plan because your gut tells you this is the right person for you. You become nervous. Your hands sweat. Your heart pounds. You second guess, then in a "click" it's all over. You feel like your life has ended. Time passes. Then, finally, the moment you've been praying for. You realize your reaching out wasn't in vein. Your love interest replies and suddenly you're no longer in control. The attraction is mutual and you're both along for the ride. Where it stops? No one knows. But you both know you want to ride side by side with this person through and through.  

It started as a simple search and lead to the greatest everlasting love of all. 

I love you, Amare! None of this would be possible if you hadn't found me.  

Take chances. You'll never know where you'd end up.