Wednesday, October 19, 2011

My New Toy and the Quest for other New Things

I woke up this morning asking myself what it was that I needed. I continued to lay down scrolling through my phone when it hit me that I needed to go to Target. I love Target. You have no idea. Then the laundry list of things that I needed read off in my head, then just like that it hit me.

Before I ventured out into the world, I took to the treadmill like a fatty doing my daily workout, even though I've only been back at it for two days. I hit the shower, did my hair and make-up, ate, watched TV for an hour and headed straight for the gas station because my 'lazy girl' habit rose from the dead and made me a procrastinator again. The gas light indicator was showing on the dashboard of my car. I've never drove it past that point literally until last night. I was about three miles from my tiny little desert town when the light came on. I got nervous and started thinking crazy thoughts of being stranded on the side of the desert road. The gas light indicator showed that I only had 20 miles until empty, then 19 miles, then 18 miles until the bars made to read as numbers now read as three single digital bars flashing on and off, on and off, on and off. "Doesn't that defeat the purpose of having an indicator if the dash shows a blank?!" I yelled at the car. A few seconds later I parked in the driveway of my house and swiftly turned my car off from fear of my precious car shutting off on me. So, today in a panic when I turned the ignition, I seen that I had 18 miles until empty before the little bars came back to bitch slap me. The drive to the gas station was a long one despite it only being a mile up the street. The drive felt like ages with being sandwiched between distance, slow drivers, and those stupid traffic lights intended for safety. But, whatever. I made it. Safely.    

Twenty miles later I made it to Chandler, Arizona and strolled my newly worked out body into Target Greatland. I grabbed a shopping cart and made a b-line to Stationary. I'm not a girly girl. I can be a nerd at times. Just the sight of being around notebooks and pens make me wet. And then I seen it staring back at me. It was tall, black, and cost a whopping $19.99. It only took me four years to get to this point, but I finally made the idea of buying a paper shredder a reality. I examined all the potential shredders until I made my final decision on some Followers brand I didn't recognize. An hour fifteen minutes and $72.99 later, I made it back to my car with my paper shedder and bags in hand.

I was itching to go home. I really was. But Barnes & Noble kept calling out to me.  I was half way down the street heading back to the Loop 202 freeway when I made a U-Turn back into the mall area. "It'll be quick. All I want is a Daily Word Calender." I told myself. Little did I know nearly an hour and a half later I walked out with a $54.28 purchase. Credit cards are evil. That's my input. But I did get some goodies. I was strolling down the aisles trying to find the African American fiction section. I noticed that they didn't have one anymore but I continued to stroll the aisles anyway. The first novel I came across had something to do with a gold digging hootchie from California. I passed that book up because I felt uncomfortable with the content. Then I came across a second novel just a few steps to the left. Midnight: A Gangsta Love Story caught my eyes with the illustration of a fine ass teenage boy with a hoodie gracing the cover. I didn't pick it up because I didn't feel gripped by the title. Adjacent to that novel was The Coldest Winter Ever by the same author, Sister Souljah. I've never heard of this novelist. Nor was I interested in her but I couldn't stop the impulse of my left hand gripping the novel off the shelf.

"I never liked Sister Souljah, straight up. She the type of female I'd like to cut with my razor. Before I get heated talking about her, let me make it clear who I am and where I stand. Don't go jumping to any conclusions either. All of y'all are too quick to jump to her defense without knowing what somebody up close and personal thinks. When it comes right down to it, those are the people that really count, the people that was there, who seen it all. Hell, you can't smell nobody's breath through a camera. You almost can't see their pimples. So you know that shit on TV ain't real. Don't run ahead of me. Let me take my time to tell my story."

I read the first paragraph not expecting to be reeled in and continued to read Chapter 1 for the next ten minutes. I didn't make it to Chapter 2 because I had put the novel down by then. I walked away. Not 20 seconds later I walked back to examine the book. I walked away again, quickly turning back around to pick up my copy. The writer in my suddenly felt complete. I went on my venture to find that Daily Word Calender I went into the store for only to end up in the African American section. My eyes instantly focused on Hair Story: Untangling The Roots of Black Hair in America. Believe it or not, I've been searching for this book for twelve years. The fall of 1999 somewhere in Detroit, Michigan, I was sitting at the beauty salon waiting on my stylist to finish up on the appointment she had before me. On the coffee table setting next to the magazines was this book. I picked it up and started reading clear to the middle of Chapter 2 until it was my turn to get my hair did. I told myself not to forget the name of the book, but as fate would have it, I did and the search started. Here it is 2011 in Arizona and I'm finally reunited with my book I've been searching high and low for. Right as I was walking through the checkout I came across this table that was clustered with little boxes. I took a closer look and realized that I was looking at tiny daily calenders. After examining a few boxes I came across what I was looking for: 365 New Words a Year. I had finally found what I was looking for. Sadly, I can't use it until January 1, 2012. What the hell!

Grand Total: $127.97 plus a $4.64 slice of Red Velvet Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory from the Starbucks inside the bookstore brought my day trip for a paper shredder, hand soap, air freshener, and a Daily Word Calender up to $132.61 with all the other crap I brought. Not including the $50 I purchased for gasoline. None of the time I spent and the money I wasted took me off my focus. I had my new toy and four years of shredding to get through.

Note: Trista Russell has been my favorite novelist since I came across her in 2006. Weird enough, I didn't read the book I purchased until two years later in 2008. After reading through Chocolate Covered Forbidden Fruit I raced to all the Barnes and Nobles in the town to purchase her other novels, Fly on the Wall, Going Broke and Dead Broke (sequel to Going Broke). I've been on Trista's jock ever since. I brought her last book Bedroom Bully in 2010. I've been waiting for that sequel. I'm still waiting. I haven't found another novelist to compare to her, so I never bothered looking. Russell inspired me to write. I always had this gift in me. I just chose to pin it up because I seen my writing abilities as a curse. Why? I don't know. That topic is all different story I'll probably tell one day. Now since discovering Sister Souljah, a whole new world has been opened up for me because all my writing has been influenced by Russell.

Hold on. Rewind. Start over. Press Play. This blog post was supposed to be about my paper shredder. I love my paper shredder. I shredded through some years and relived them as I as shredding them. It freaks me out because I spent a few hours shredding but what I got rid of is peanuts compared to the piles and piles of papers I need to rid myself of. I remember the days of shredding by hand. The world is no longer a safe place for that. Damn you stupid people and your stealing of others identities!

Oops! I didn't mean for this post to be so long. Hee hee :)

Friday, October 7, 2011

How to Lose a Girlfriend in 10 days

1) Turing off your phone sending her calls straight to Voicemail.
2) Letting the phone ring and don't answer her calls.
3) Seeing she called and don't bother calling her back.
4) Leaving her to wonder why you won't speak to her.
5) Don't bother to reply to her chain of text messages.
6) Placing blame on her.
7) Texting her far and few in between.
8) Placing all your needs before hers.
9) Stop communicating with her.
10) Ignoring her.
11) Don't call her.
12) Making her feel like you've forgotten about her altogether.
13) Making her feel worthless.
14) Making her feel lousy.
15) Making her cry.
16) Making her sad.
17) Making her feel lonely.
18) Making her attention seeking.
19) Breaking her heart.
20) Allowing her to resent you.
21) Making her feel like maybe she's wasting her time.
22) Giving her time to lose interest in you.
23) Making her realize she deserves better.
24) Being just like all the other guys. Something you said you'd never do.
25) Most importantly, making her feel as though she shouldn't have taken 10 days without pay out of her work schedule to travel more than 2,000 miles to visit you. What was supposed to be a post happy visit ended in vain.
If you love someone, and I really mean deep down in your soul-you'll die if you ever lost this person type of love, you'd never go out of your way to treat that person that badly. It's just a slap in the face to her when she thinks back on all the things she's done for you and all times she heard you tell her that you'd never break her heart or never leave her. Love is NOT supposed to hurt.

If reading this blog post offends you, then that means this was directed towards you specifically and was intended as an eye opener.

In other words, don't let it happen again!

Home Sweet Home

Date: September 23, 2011 to September 28, 2011
Time: 11:00 AM Friday Eastern Standard Time (Michigan) to 8:30 PM Wednesday Mountain Standard Time (Arizona)
Location: Clinton Township, Michigan and Phoenix, Arizona


After being dropped off by Kenny at my moms house, there wasn't much to do but watch the Wendy Williams Show, eat the remaining two inches of my italian sub I had from the night before, and nap until my little big brother got out of school. Being the dreary, cold, rainy Friday that it was, the mood of the day didn't leave much room for anything but sleepy-laziness. My mom and I ventured out into the depressing wether to pick up my little big brother, Lexis, from middle school. Afterwards, we made our way over to Walmart picking up some goodies to last until my unwanted departure.

I spent the remainder of my stay reuniting with my great aunt, aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends--people I haven't seen in years! It was a  mini family reunion of sorts.

I have a lot of drunken memories from Saturday. I never visioned myself as a kid getting wasted with family members. I had a lot of fun that night. Sunday was another day to remember. I had an impromptu family dinner at my great aunts house. Good food, good memories, and a lot of shared true ghost stories. You'd never believe any of those stories if I ever told you. I spent Monday with my dad. We went out to eat and we seen The Help. I love that movie. Check it it sometime. I can't wait until it comes out on video.

Tuesday was spent being miserable and sick from that cold I cought at Kenny's place. Who do you know that goes on vacation and ends up getting sick? Oh. Well, Darling that person is me of course. My mom took good care of me though. I would've felt better if she cranked on the heat. Michigan is cold this time of year.

The last day. Wednesday. I spent with my Kenny. We went out to lunch. But before he could let me go on to my flight, he brought me a really pretty ring. I mean, he let me pick it out. But it was really pretty. I wish I knew what kind of stone is.

The flight home was typical. I didn't want to leave. I couldn't believe all ten days flew by in the blink of an eye. I spent the flight back to Arizona in awe of my new ring and thinking back on all the good times I had. If I could do it all again, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But the time had come to move on and get back to reality.

No matter where you go. No matter what you do. There's no place like home.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Kenny and Krissy: Together Again

Date: September 18, 2011 to September 23, 2011
Time: 9:00 Sunday Evening to 11:00 Friday morning
Location: Clinton Township and Detroit, Michigan


Three hours after landing at the Detroit Wayne County airport and adjusting to the cool midwestern weather, I was enthusiastically greeted with tight hugs and wet kisses on the front porch from my *Kenny at my moms house. My nostrils were filled with the sweet undertones of his cologne, I felt the touch of his moist soft lips on mine, I tasted the residual mint flavored gum mixed with Newport cigarettes from his saliva. Our eyes gazed into each other, if only for a minute. That minute felt like an eternity. Our reunion nestled us in a euphoria. In that moment I was no longer Kristi. I was **Kristi and **Ken and I loved every micro second of it. The mass of the population don't realize how fortunate they are to have their other half within earshot. Unlucky lovers such as myself and Kenny have to maintain a relationship that's over 2,000 miles apart, seven States wide, three Time Zones away. No one said it would be easy, but somehow, some way, we made it work. The days and months are still mounting. We're currently on our eighth month. After gathering my things once again and temporarily telling my mom and little big brother good bye, Kenny and I drove to the city of Detroit for a four night-five day stay at his home after doing some light grocery shopping at the local Kroger in Roseville. 

The days in between were filled with meeting his mom, dad, sister, brothers, niece, nephew, friends, watching movies, gambling at the MGM Grand casino in downtown Detroit, dining in, ordering out, dancing, laughter, loving, touching, hugging, getting sick. [We've come to a screeching halt.] Yes, getting sick. I caught a cold from the massive amounts of chilly air creeping into our love cave. From someone that has adapted to scorching heat and thick air of the Sonoran desert in Arizona, the Michigan native in me couldn't adjust back to the environment that it was most familiar with. The days following were miserable from deep within my thoracic and sinus cavities. But every moment spent with my Kenny made every "I feel like death" moment ok. 

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and boy, were they right. The amount of catching up we did was a sight to be seen. Or not be seen if your faint of heart. To finally be able to look over and see his face, or reach out and touch him and utter his name and he's in the same space to verbalize his response took me to a new level of being in love. Everything about that man turned me on and we took full advantage of our time together. 

To be continued...

*Story version names
**Real names