Friday, September 30, 2011

Delta Airlines

Date: September 18, 2011
Time: 10:00 AM Mountain Standard Time (Arizona) and 5:45 PM Eastern Standard Time (Michigan)
Location: Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport and Detroit Wayne County Airport

My trip started off as typical as any other. I walked on the airbus staring out onto the lucky ones that got to sit in the first class sections followed by all the Zone 1s, Zone 2s, and those with children. There I stood in the never ending line of travelers walking inch by inch until I reached my final destination--seat 21 A. Did somebody say window seat? Why yes. Certainly they did. That person was me. After I got cozy with my fluffy fleece pillow and book, I was greeted by a sweet old lady--who had the gift of gab. Bless her little heart. She carried on with a conversation of how tricky it was for her to find the row numbers after she had stumbled upon her assigned seat. She then concluded with telling me of how she thought she need glasses because of this fiasco and how her last plane trip was back in the 1970s when her late husband was alive. To comfort her aged mind, I chimed in about how I thought I had to count the seats one-by-one until I remembered the tiny numbers were up on the airplane ceiling. That little tid bit comforted her real good until I told her, "This is my second time flying..." which then took us on a completely different subject until our friend who sat in 21 C arrived. Boy oh boy did she have a field day with that fella. Poor guy didn't even see it coming.

Once we were soaring above the clouds, we were all off in our own little worlds. I was listening to my iTunes while reading Write Great Fiction: Plot and Structure by James Scott Bell. Hey! Don't judge me. In order for one to be good at ones craft, one must study ones craft. That last sentence was totally lame, but it's the truth. All right, so, the sweet little old lady with the gift of gab was doing cross word puzzles and the fella that was bum rushed by the sweet old lady, was on his laptop doing--I don't know what. I know he had in ear buds for sure. All was calm and quiet until I desperately needed to visit the washroom of the sky. I was dying to experience what others made such a big fuss over considering how that was my second plane trip ever. I give the experience an A+. I found the lavatory cozy. It was like sitting in my car. After I returned to my seat, there she went again doing what she did best. Talk. I totally can't blame her though. Her husband past away 30 some odd years ago. She's lonely.

Finally after about three or four hours of flying the friendly skies, we land at the McNamara Terminal at the Detroit Wayne County airport. I couldn't tell you how excited I was to peel myself out of that chair. You could only imagine. To give you a little back story, I traveled back home to Michigan back in June for the first time. I've never flown anytime before that. I remember the pilot announcing the carousel the luggage would be on. I remember walking into the building and the first thing I saw was National Coney Island. And I remember hitting that first left to baggage claim. It took me five minutes tops. This experience was completely different than the first. The pilot didn't announce didly squat and the terminal had to be the size of 10 [American] Football fields. I figured I was lost when I realized I was walking and wasn't getting anywhere. It took me a good 15 minutes to find the "You Are Here" map and to realize I wasn't in the same terminal as before. I was somewhere upstairs and I had to get downstairs for baggage claims. It was there where I met up with my uncle Johnny and little big brother Lexis. My uncle found the carousel with my luggage because I was completely lost. I told him, "I'm lost." Like I said, that was my second experience flying. My uncle had a field day with my going astray.

Finally what made the flight worth while was seeing my mom and giving her a hug on the curb, being in cooler weather that was exactly 30 degrees lower than what it was in Arizona, and watching all the cars with Michigan license plates drive by.

I was home.

To be continued... 

Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Funny Thing is...

The funny thing about exercising is that you got to keep doing it, otherwise the body starts to look like the blob.

My body isn't what it was when I was teenager. I was like a snake. Back then I could eat something one day and be good for the next few days and have food not even cross my mind. With me being in my 20s, my body is running on a whole new operating system. If I hear or feel one grumble in my belly, I'm all over the kitchen like a scouring mouse. I'm in the fridge, I'm in the freezer, I'm in the pantry, and I won't stop until I find something to shove down my throat.

I love my body. It's just that sometimes I feel like a fatty when the PMS rolls around because then I'm all bloated like the Michelin man. Then in the back of my head I'm thinking, "I love food too much to be anorexic. Food is too damn expensive to be bulimic, and I hate routine enough to workout every single day of my life."

So the funny thing is...Ugh! Eff it. The whole "weight" thing is overrated.   

I'm going to Outback Steakhouse.

No Internet, No Cable, No Connection, Oh My!

Date: September 10, 2011 through September 16, 2011
Time: All day!
Location: This Old House

Somewhere out there, there is a house. Inside that house is a family. Within that family is an issue. The issue is peanuts relative to anything else, but big enough to drive them nuts.

Imagine one day you're living in the 21st Century living carelessly off the airwaves picking up signals from the atmosphere then BAM! You're back in the 1980s; Internet pulverized. A few days later the same thing happens to the TV. One day you're watching it then, POW! You're back in the 1950s; nothing but white noise.

Watching cable requires nothing. Just park your ass and the job is done. Crazy thing about being an aspiring writer is, you need the Internet in order to blog, otherwise your readers are going to think you've abandoned them. Well, I'm here to tell you all not to fret because Krissy is back y'all! But only for a limited time. Vacation is calling and there'll be no time to blog. Don't be discouraged though. 10 days will fly by.



Morning Goop

Date: September 14, 2011
Time: 5 A.M
Location: The Hallway

I was just jolted awake by the most peculiar sound coming from outside my bedroom door. The sound sounded like gigantic water balloons hitting the floor and bursting. All I know is I had to "use it" really bad, so I jumped out my bed searching for pajama bottoms forgetting where they were. I had just washed all my clothes and folded them neatly in the hamper (that never happens) a few hours ago so I was completely lost, half sleep, and panicked until I remembered they were on the bottom of the stack. Once I finally got something on my lower half and a bra on, I unlocked and open the door and I hear a female voice coming from the dark void,
"Be careful. I just threw up."
Realizing it was my cousin Mikki in my bathroom and still being confused by what was going on I reply,
"You came downstairs to throw up?"
Sounding defeated, she answered,
"No. I came down to get some water--."
Right before she could finish her sentence I get the moxy to venture out into the dark to run upstairs to unleash what felt like a waterfall-and what do I do? I walk right in it. I only got as far as the living room couch until I realized what had just happened on the sole of my foot.

Uck! Ruined a perfectly good pair of socks.

Sorry for the totally disgusting story. I had to tell someone and you all were my first choice--after Kenny of course.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

My Body Loves Me!

Drawing by Shikaru1415

Not too many days ago my body was in agony over my workout regiment.

I'd hit the treadmill for 30 minutes in the early afternoon and sprint five times for at least a minute or until my insides started to burn. After my half hour was up I'd lift free weights and end with 50 sit ups. Before I got ready for bed, I'd do the same workout only adding an extra half hour to the treadmill. Easy right? Well, I thought so but my thighs kept whining, so I decided to fall back for two days allowing my body to recover.

I got on the scale yesterday. I dropped another three pounds. So that's six pounds of girth lost in one week plus three pounds of muscle. I kick ass!

I only have eight days until my 10 day vacation. Not to mention the bowl of macaroni and cheese, two slices of three meat pizza, and a bunch of cookies 'n cream ice cream I had yesterday. Oh My!

But everything will be ok because my body loves me.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

My Thighs Hate Me

"No pain no gain" they say. I say, "Shut the fuck up. My thighs are on fire."

In efforts to getting myself skinny by September 18th, I've been doing everything in my power to shed my girth, like: eliminating processed sugars, fried foods, drinking nothing but iced water and hot teas, eating healthier and lighter. You get the drill. Then there's the treadmill that's doing me in.

Working out on the treadmill is fine. Working out on the treadmill is great. It's only when all is said and done is when I'm in trouble. Fermentation is what's wrong with me. According to  my body isn't "awesome". And when the body isn't "awesome" the muscles get tired setting in for fermentation. The body releases lactic acid giving it the energy it needs therefore giving the body the sore feeling. I can't begin to tell you where I am on the pain scale. All I can say is that I have a really hard time climbing stairs. I have to literally get down and crawl on my hands and knees. My thighs alone won't take me. Then there's the whole sitting down/getting up thing. That has all been thrown out the window. Imagine trying to get in and out of your car and immediately becoming hesitant because the pain is so intense. Or better yet, using the little ladies room. That alone has become an adventure in itself. Fermentation is a bitch.

The crazy thing about all this is that my toes are in pain too. I don't even wanna know why they hurt. All I know is that I have eleven days left to lose an inch off my waist and hips. I'm excited for when I get to say, "buh bye" to my girth and "hello" to my sexy!

Let's get it!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I Need to get Skinny by September 18th

Once upon a time, I was a lazy working girl who had lost all interest in all things and gained nothing but a few pounds. Well, things have changed, my little friends, because I have to get skinny by September 18th.

Why September 18th, you ask? Well, September 18th is the day I land on Michigan's rich soil, of course! I'll be greeted by my mom, my big little brother, and my uncle at the Detroit Metropolitan Airport. Then later, I'll meet up with my Kenny to spend five uninterrupted days with him then it's off to Sandusky, Ohio for our mini vacation together at Cedar Point for some thrills and shrills. The last few days I'll get to spend with my mom and little big brother. And I really need to squeeze in time with my dad because I really miss him. Hopefully, I'll get to meet up with my friends from high school and spend some well needed time with my cousins because I only have ten days to do everything I want to do.

So, you see, I have to look good because I did pack on some girth while in my lazy girl phase. I really started to change things around for myself last week on August 29th. I was trying on clothes that I wanted to take with me and I found that things didn't quite fit like they had just a few months ago, so I started working out. Last I checked, I lost three pounds. But since I've been running on the treadmill twice a day for an hour and a half total (30 minutes in the morning and one hour at night), I've gained muscle in my ass and thighs. And my tummy has slimmed some. I honestly couldn't tell you how much weight I've lost because as we all know, muscle is heavier than fat. Damn, Kenny is gonna love this! Thick girls rock!

Coke bottle body figure, here I come. I never forgot you!

I was hopeless, now I all hopeful.