Monday, August 29, 2011

Mandatory Sex Parties

So, there I was being bored in my room minding my own business reading old Blog posts from Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh, when I started to read What Google Needs is Mandatory Sex Parties.

Before I started reading this post, I read the post before it, Allie Gets Arrested. This is a story within a story within a story that goes back to the original story. In the story that was actually being told, Allie and her friend Roger was arrested for apparently "moving a log", leaving broken beer bottles on the ground, and fire. Only they weren't the ones doing it. Can someone say falsely accused? While Allie and Roger was being held captive well...I let her tell the story.

"We finally arrived in front of a cute little farm house that would have seemed quaint and inviting under any other circumstances.  Well, maybe not any other circumstance - like probably not if we were there because we thought we were going to a costume party but it actually turned out to be a mandatory sex party.  Do people have mandatory sex parties?"

And THAT is where it all started.

The next Blog post, What Google Needs is Mandatory Sex Parties, goes even further off the edge.

The next day, or however long it was because Allie doesn't show post dates on her Blog, researches "Mandatory Sex Parties" and comes up with this

"So I googled it. And this is what I found (you'll probably have to click to make it bigger, but it's worth it): Apparently I'm the only person on the whole Internet to ever use the phrase "mandatory sex party."
I win."
 I *died laughed* after reading what she typed and took a closer look at the screen shot. If only you could understand my branch of humor.

After reading her post about how everyone should "Prank the Internet" I started to read all 48 comments, because I was bored and had nothing else better to do. Everyone involved had this sinister plan to create a fake Wiki page, start a #mandatorysexparties trend on Tweeter, type a fake definition on Urban Dictionary, so on and so forth. I was truly touched. Of all the wild and crazy words I've created and never thought to make them an Internet sensation shames me.

Ok. Ok. So after reading every single comment there was because of my boredom, a light bulb went off in my head. "Text Kenny. Text Kenny." So to the voice I said, "Haa haa! Ok. That'll be funny." Then I got to texting.

Me: "Mandatory Sex Party".

Before pressing send on the screen, I just so happen to look up at the recipient. See. I have an iPhone. Whenever I go into my text messages, I'm lead to he last conversation I had. I guess there's no such thing as picking and choosing in iWhatever Land so I just naturally assumed the last person I texted was Kenny. It just is. That's the natural order of things. Anyways, apparently I forgot I was texting my older cousin Shavonne just an hour before. She's about 15 years older than me. I could only imagine the look on her face after unexpectantly stumbling upon my text "Mandatory Sex Party". Actually, that would've been kinda funny seeing as how I'm the family clown.

So, like I was saying, I was texting Kenny and I almost accidentally texted my much older cousin Shavonne but I caught myself, because, that's how I roll.

Now I'm sharing this wild and crazy story that goes absolutely nowhere because after over and hour Kenny still hasn't replied.


*Died Laugh, Die Laughed, or Dieing Laughing: (verb) Black term or African American term, if you wanna be all politically correct and shit:

When someone laughs so hard that tears roll down their face (i.e rolling on the floor laughing).


  1. Haha guess how I got to this post. I read Allie's "What Google needs is mandatory sex parties" and then went on Google to see how prevalent on the internet it is now. And came upon this blog post among other things :P

    1. Absolute same way I came here! I was wondering if her plan to populate google with that term had worked somewhat and googled to see how many items would come up, then saw this!

  2. Craziness, huh? That's what happens when you're online minding your own business.


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