My Car is Making me Fat



Drawing by Pencildreams.com

I remember the good 'ol days when I'd haul ass to and from school; 25 minutes twice a day five days a week. That's a lot of cardio, yo. My calves were tight. My thighs were toned. My tummy was a simi six pack. I say simi because my tummy had potential. The lines were there when I tightened my muscles. But after I'd let them go I poked out a tad. Not bad.

I remember I used to walk everywhere! Not because I had to. My walking was all by choice because everything I needed was within a mile radius. My cousins lived up the street. Whenever I wanted to pop in and raid their fridge, all I had to do was walk ten or fifteen minutes and I was there. If I wanted to go shopping, Media Play was around the corner. If you don't know, Media Play was a mix of a record store, instrument store, movie store, toy store, book store, video game store, art store, etc... Anything that fitted in the media or entertaining category, they definitely had it. And, I practically lived there. Sadly, they went out of business in 2006. I miss them. Target took awhile to get to but nothing ever stopped me from going there. Target is my favoritest store of all time. If I felt the urge to buy some hair dye and other well needed gilry nicknacks, Rite Aid Pharmacy was a five minute walk from Media Play. If I craved a cappuccino, Sunoco gas station was a two minute walk from Rite Aid Pharmacy. If I wanted snacks, the Corner Store was up the street on the corner. Visit friends? Sure. Just cross 15 Mile Road and they were there. If I wanted to be entertained. BAM! Star Gratiot (Grr-ASH-it) Theatre was across the main street. Hungry? Blimpie's and Terry's Subs was there to feed me. I didn't need a car. All I needed was a good pair of legs and shoes and I was on my way.

My senior year in high school, it was all over. I brought my first car. It was a 1989 Geo Spectrum. Red and sassy. Georgia was her name. Georgia was an ugly little thing. Best believe she got me from point A to point B. I'm not gonna say she was reliable because she's screwed me over more than I can count. There was only AM/FM radio. The car was so old that there wasn't a tape deck. No tape deck equals no CD adapter for my CD player. The top speed on the old hag was 80 miles per hour. How embarrassing is that?! Geeze. The transmission was a bitch. I had to literally floor the petal in order to increase my speed just a little. The heat took forever to kick in. Ice was attracted to the metal like it was a huge magnate. And then one day after my senior banquette, she crocked. I hit a pot hole on my way home and my alignment snapped. My wheel turned a full 90 degrees. Declared undriveable. I was unable to sale it so I gave it to charity. I know, right. What the hell is charity gonna do with a car that's tore up from the floor up? My answer: I don't know.

As the years progressed, I purchased better cars, which could only mean more driving and less walking. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a fatty by any means. My body just isn't what it was when I was a teenager. Now I'm just a lazy working girl.

M'mm. Is that bacon I smell?