Sunday, December 11, 2011
The Brownie Conversation
Today I decided to bake my famous homemade Hershey Brownies. I sent out a mass text to all my cousins in the area. The first responder was J'von. He's my 16 year old cousin who is skinny as I don't know what but eats everything in his path. This was our conversation.
Mass Text: Making brownies!!!
J'von: On my way!!!
Me: The ingredients aren't mixed together yet. But you could go buy me some sticks of butter and I'll make some blondes too.
J'von: All of a sudden I'm not hungry anymore.
Me: Blah! I'm sticking with the brownies.
J'von: That's what I thought (:
Me: Don't make me merk you.
J'von: Merk? Is that the new lingo these days?
Me: Lil Wayne used to say merk. Short for murder. Lol! Dang. That sounds bad. Ok ok. Don't make me bear hug you.
J'von: Naw naw naw. Bear hugs are Marie's move.
Me: Pinch yo but! Ha!
J'von: Can't reach :O
Me: Pssssssh chiiii! Yeah I can.
J'von: I can't even see ma butt! Get it right.
Me: Lol! Dummy.
J'von: I know what you are but what am I?
Me: Unicorns and glitter.
J'vaon: Call 1-800-LAW-YERS! BLAAAH.
Little back story: 1-800-LAW-YERS is an annoying day time commercial that plays all the time. On Thanksgiving I had the jingle stuck in my head and I kept singing it to everybody. A few hours later my nut of a cousin J'von made a game out of it. The rule was: if someone called your name and you responded with "What?" you got 1-800-LAW-YERS shouted in your face. So here it is four weeks after Thanksgiving and this guy gets me when my guard is down.
Me: I don't like you.
J'von: Just mad cause I got cha!!!
Me: Sho is, Foo'.
J'von: I'm da man.
Me: In the words of Marie, pssssh chiiii!
Marie is his 11 year old sister I always blog about.
J'von: So...You make deliveries?
Me: Hell no.
Me: $5 delivery fee.
J'von: Well then. What kind of service is this!
J'von: Family discount?
Me: Who said this was a service? I supply the goods. You drive to get it. Done.
J'von: That wasn't in the contract.
J'von: Krissy :D
Me: Call 1-800-LAW-YERS! Berrrrrm! Nah! :)
J'von: I didn't say "What?"
Me: The rules have changed, my friend.
Mass text (with picture included): I present to you...but its hot. So its technically not ready so. Um. Yeah.
Me: Whaaaat? Come and get it, Narrow.
That's what I call him
J'von: Yeah. No car!!!
Me: Your mom is picking some up after work.
J'von: That's at midnight.
Me: Well dang.
J'von: Yup. Lemmie borrow $2,000.
Me: Negro, please! I wish I did have that much to give.
What's wrong with these kids these days?
Me: I have a Ziplock bag with three brownies for you and your parents
J'von: Okay. Niiiiice!!!
I see I'mma have to bake more often.