Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Truth is

25 years old. No husband. No kids. 25 years old and the thing I want most in the world is a husband and kids. It's crazy because thinking back on it, I've been feeling this way since I was 19 years old.

When I was, 19, I was in a serious relationship. At that time I was with my then boyfriend for five years. The thing I admired most about our young selves is that we both knew we were too young for marriage. We've been talking about getting married since we met five years earlier. Another thing I admired most about us was our awareness. We both were aware of the fact that we were too selfish at our ages to even think about getting pregnent. So for the next three-four years, we focused on not doing those two things. Even though we had our own place for a year and had unprotected sex for thee longest. It sure 'nough felt like a marriage. Only minus the "Mr." and "Mrs." title legally attached.

Then the expected unexpected happend. We split up. I moved to Arizona leaving him everything so I could start fresh. Only later being slapped in the face by reality. I had never felt so empty in my life! Who ever knew that ending a eight in a half year long relationship could feel so much like a divorce? I felt as though it wasn't meant for me to be happy. Or that it wasn't meant for me to get to experience the joys of having my own family. I stayed confident. I remained a believer of love. Then I found myself looking back on the calender. Three years had past. And here I am. 25 years old. No husband. No kids.

Five months ago I was given a second chance at real love. I found someone--or that someone found me. Better yet. I think we found each other. We are so much a like in so many ways it scares me. Only problem is that he lives in my home state and we're seperated by purple mountains, deep valleys, rolling hills, mighty rivers, and flat plains. For once in a long time I've been given a glimmer of hope that maybe someday I could be Mrs. Mommy and live the life I always wanted to. But like I said, one day. Today isn't that day and tomorrow doesn't look like it either. Just hope that someday could come soon so I wouldn't have to feel as empty and as deprived as I always do.

And that is the truth.


  1. Hi Krissy! Sorry I didn't comment for so long! After reading the post that you intended to quit blogging I lost track! sooo sorry! And I know how you feel, I long for being in a happy family too some day hopefully not too far in the future. It's tough imagining a future like that with someone you've been with for long, and then have it shatter to bits. But keep on hoping, it will happen some day.

  2. When did I post that I'm giving up bloggging? I needed to step away from the site for awhile. I have a life outside of the internet.


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