Thursday, February 24, 2011


As I was walking out of the restroom I noticed Brook setting up to do her night stocking in the Pharmacy area. While I walked towards her from the restroom hallway I was holding my bag of plain Lay's potato chips and thought to myself:

"I hope she doesn't think I didn't wash my hands because I just washed my hands. I can still smell the soap. She could walk into the restroom right now and notice the water in the sink. That's sick. Who would go into the restroom and come out eating a bag of chips without washing their hands? That's nasty. I would never do that. I wonder if she wants a chip. I would share if she asked me. But she probably thinks I didn't wash my--"

Brook: (in audible)

Me: (While munching on my chips.) Who did what?

Brook: It's a mark down!

Me: What's a mark down?

Brook: The condoms!

My inner monologue:
(While looking at the condoms behind the locked glass.) The entire condom shelf is on clearance. How is this a 'mark down?' They're still expensive. Why do they cost so much in the first place? They're behind glass. No one can steal these. No wonder they're on 'mark down'. No one wants to buy this.

Me: They're (the grocery store) gonna stop selling condoms.

Brook: Or bring some brand new ones in! Who wants to pay $10 for a pack of condoms?

My inner monologue:
They're gonna be even more expensive. The condom company wants to end fornication. Haa! That's funny.

Me: Or they could all stop having sex.

My inner monologue:
Those boxes aren't cheap. Who wants to pay $10 for a box of condoms? They won't sell. No one will buy condoms. There's gonna be babies everywhere! Everyone's gonna have STDs! There's a way around it.

Brook: Laughing out loud.

My inner monologue:
No. That won't work. Who would voluntarily give up sex?

Me: Or they could all get married.

My inner monologue:
That way they could keep having sex without having to use expensive condoms. But there would be babies everywhere! Unless the girl takes birth control.

Brook: Laughing out loud.

Me: Yeah. That won't ever happen.

This Shorts Moment has been brought to you by Krissy.

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