Friday, February 18, 2011

My New Friend Moscato

The first alcoholic beverage I ever consumed was when I was nine years old (1994-1995). I love telling this story.

I remember it was a Saturday. It was me, my mom, her niece, and her two little kids that lived with us. I remember filling up my Chuck E. Cheese cup with water, sipping a few sips, and placing the cup in the back of the refrigerator. Later that day all my cousins and aunties came over for a party. Later that night after everyone left our town house I was feeling a little perched, so I reached to the back of the fridge to grab my little cup to drink my water. After drinking one sip I immediately busted into tears. I ran to the living room sofa and planted my head into the over sized pillows to cover up the tears that was running down my face. I was ballin', y'all. My mom was sitting on the love seat that was positioned on the adjacent wall. She was watching Lifetime I assume. She unglued her eyes from the TV and started asking me what was wrong. Me being the drama queen I was being at the moment, still hysterically crying, I answer her, "Iiiiiiiiiii'm gonna diiiiiiiie! It was beer in my cup." Without any reservation or any hesitation, she busted out in laughter. My cousin, let's call her Isha. She was sitting on the chair directly across from me with her two young kids. She busted out in laughter like it wasn't nothin'. Her oldest child, which had to be about four or five years old at the time walked up to me and started mocking me. It didn't help that my mom called her sisters and nieces and started telling them about what happened. I was so embarrassed. But now I can look back on this and laugh because I thought my life was over. I had one sip and I thought I it was curtins or that I was going to jail. We ended up finding out who put the beer in my cup. It was my cousin, let's call her Nina. She's about the same age as Isha. They were in their early 20's then. I still get teased by my cousin Isha. But it's ok. The memories are good.

In September 2006 I had my first taste of wine when I was on a date at the Olive Garden. The server offered a sample. If you know me, you'd know that I don't turn down a drink. I told her "Yes." and tried the free glass of red wine. I don't know what the heck I was drinking! All I remember is expecting this stuff to taste like grape juice. What I had was sour and very ungrape juice-like. It was awful and I remember vowing that I would never in a million years drink wine again.

April 2010 I was working at my first serving job. Yes, I was a waitress. Anyhoo, this lady ordered a glass of Chardonnay. And kept ordering them at that. While I was carrying the glasses of wine back to the lady all I could remember thinking is "I wanna drink this." The wine smelt delicious. I literally didn't wanna give it to her. But I had to. Later that night after my shift was over I went to the wine section at Bashe's. I was so ignorant to the world of wine. I didn't know what I was looking for more less the type of brand to buy. All I could remember thinking is "I want my Chardy. I want my bottle of Chardy." I saw the Barefoot brand that looked familiar to me from the restaurant. But me being the ignorant rookie to the aisle that I was I ended up grabbing the cheapest bottle I could find; Little Black Dress. That was a huge mistake. Worst tasting Chardonnay I ever had! My wine trips didn't stop there. I went again the following week and brought a bottle of red wine. I think it was Merlot. Barefoot of course. Then the week after that I brought a blush wine; White Zinfandel. That was the best $6 I ever spent, I'll tell ya. I instantly had a new friend. I drank about 50% of the bottle that night. So if you're keeping count, I brought three bottles of wine in a months time. I didn't drink them all. Uh. Let me correct myself. I only drank the full bottle of White Zinfandel. The other two was still occupying space. I decided to give my wine trips a break. I had too many unfinished bottles at home.

The following week while I was shopping at Target for my moms Mothers' Day present. I somehow ended up in the wine aisle. Don't ask me how I got there. While I was there looking at the wines, I had a wise idea to buy my mom a bottle of my new favorite; White Zinfandel. While I was there I had another wise idea to buy one more bottle for myself. My tasty choice that time was Cabernet Sauvignon. A red wine. I didn't really like it. So just like all the others, I put them away to be consumed later.

In my older post Blast From the Past I was going into detail about a relationship that took place when I worked at the new restaurant location. Months before that they had us new hires working at the new restaurant location, the company had all of the new employees scattered out training at their three other locations. When we got to our home store the bar manager held a wine class on day three. We spent about two hours learing how to pronounce the names of the bottles of wine, how to pour wine, what the prices were; how to get drunk basically. I couldn't tell you how many glasses of wine I tasted. That was a good day. I'll tell you that much. During that session I ended up liking a white wine called Riesling. Barefoot of course. That's the only brand I will drink. Anything else just doesn't tates right.

Since having my misadventures of buying wine and wine tasting, I've been hearing a lot about Moscato. It was not until today while I was shopping at Wally World--I mean, WalMart, that I finally decided to buy a bottle. Oh my gosh! That first sip was like--if God made the worst tasting thing in this world and made us eat it, regurgitate it, let it sit and rot, and then eat it again, it would be the opposite of that. The taste is so sweet. Kinda like Kool-Aid. I drank a third of the bottle within fifteen minutes of opening it. I doubt if the bottle makes it to the next day. I only have four ounces left.

I started drinking the bottle at three this afternoon. It's now one in the morning. So, if you grew up watching Sesame Street and you went to kindergarden, you should know how to count. That's right. I've been drinking on this one bottle of wine for ten hours. I used to wonder how people could go through one, two, three bottles of wine a day. I get it now.

And thus a wino is reborn.

Happy Drinking :)

Facebook status 2/18/2010: Me:1 Moscato: 0


  1. Great childhood story, hilarious :D poor little girl :p Wine is definately something you need to learn drinking. I prefer white and rosé wine over red usually. Only started liking wine in recent years, because I had a horrible experience at 17 when drinking very cheap crappy wine in the park with classmates. They kept pouring me more and then I had to take the bus home.. Let me tell you, riding bus when drunk is a lot worse than being in car :P and I'm sure ur familiar with what often happens when in a car when drunk :D hence the distaste of wine for a while! I'm over it now though, but I go for the slightly more expensive ones now!

  2. I don't know why this is but I never get drunk off of wine. But when it comes to mixed drinks, that's another story.

    I was lucky to experience that wine class when I worked for the restaurant. Before that day I didn't know a thing about wine except for the color difference. After that day, it was like I was an expert or something. I prefer sweet white wines like Moscato and Riesling. And blush wines like White Zinfandel. Red wine is too intense

  3. This sounds like my introduction to jack daniels... It's a very acquired taste but it didn't take long to love it... Jack and coke is my drink of choice... The best is gentleman jack very smooth cost more but with me its a sprint not a race lol... Unless I'm drinking with the bfff a bottle last forever

  4. I never had Jack but that sounds like some strong shit!

    I remember this one time I had Southern Comfort (with the guy I went to the Olive Gardern with) and I was gone. That was the strongest drink I had ever had. And it made me violent. I'm not violent. I ended up callin' out from work the next day. Southern Comfort made me sick

  5. Yea jack might be too much for ya.... Plus the way I make em is strong but I'm a pro by now...


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